Well...  I went to Augusta this week and got some pretty good news.  My doctor there, Dr. Kota, wants to do my transplant on August 8th.  That's assuming all of the logistics line up with my donor etc.  I will head up there on August 1st and begin six days of high intensity chemo.  That will kill off my immune system and any residual cancer cells floating around in my blood.  Then... I will receive my transplant.  I'll have to be in isolation in the hospital from 4 to 6 weeks and then can downgrade to living in an apartment near the hospital for 2 to 3 months.  They told me that even when I come home I'll have to limit my exposure to people for quite a while until my new immune system has time to take over.  I'll be just like a newborn in that regard.  I'll have to get all of my shots again etc. 

My social worker made it clear that for the next year or so my life will be very restrictive but you gotta do what you gotta do I guess.  They shared with me that my donor is a 31 year male who agreed to give either through blood draw or through bone marrow harvest.  That is no small thing to do for someone who he has never met.  With that in mind, I'd like anyone who is reading this to take a moment and pray for him.  Donating Bone Marrow takes a lot out of a person and he will have a substantial recovery time.  After a year we will have the option to meet and I can't wait to meet him and share my immense gratitude!!! Anyway...  Please lift him up!!

Well... that's about it for now.  Thank you a thousand times to everyone who has cooked us a meal, cut our lawn, donated money, raised money, etc...  I think my social worker was truly impressed by the support system that my family and I have.  To our church family at FBC Waycross, my family at Ware County Fire Rescue, and our extended family, we are truly humbled and forever in your debt.

​

In our culture we all but worship our heroes.  (Sadly, some people actually do...)  They are those people, whether fictional or real, that we perceive as doing amazing things or going through great hardship with courage and determination.  They get lots of attention whether that comes in the form of accolades or sympathy.  I sort of think of them as the top portion of a pyramid.  They are what everyone is looking at but without the very large base underneath supporting and holding them up they are very likely going to fail miserably or go largely unnoticed.  In reality, most people at the top of the pyramid really aren't heroes at all...  They are just the focal point. or the person who just makes the most noise for attention.  The real heroes are the people who make up the unnoticed base of the pyramid...  Without them there is no pyramid...

I say all of that because I wan't to shine a little light on my hero.  She has been the support system for me from the day we got married.  I've depended on her to get me through Seminary, to support me in ministry doing many unseen but vital things.  I've depended on her to be the anchor of our family taking care of children and instilling values in them that will carry them into the future as 
Christian young women who honor God.  Most recently, I've depended on her to be my anchor and my rock in the cancer journey we have been on for the past few months.  It's the endless hours where she rubs my head or back because I'm just hurting.  It's the extra work around the house she does to pick up my slack when I'm too weak.  It's all the little details that she keeps up with because lets just face it... I just can't.  It's all of the extra things she does to take care me and our family.  It's the unconditional love she shows me when I know I don't deserve it.

My heroes name is Lesley Wheeler!!!!!  Without her there is no way I could face the journey I'm on right now.  They say that God never gives you more than you can handle...  In my case he gave me Lesley Wheeler as His envoy to carry me through.  I'm so thankful and humbled that God would see fit to bless me with a wife who is also my hero.  I Love You Lesley!!!  You Are My Hero!!!
  

I'm so blown away, I can't even think straight.  Last night I dropped by Station 1, Ware County Fire/Rescue where my other family was cooking over 250 Boston butts that they have sold as a fund raiser to help our family through all of this cancer stuff.  In my life, I have never experienced the kind of love that has been poured out on our family from the amazing community in which I live!!​  It is truly humbling and overwhelming to see in such a personal way the love of Christ being played out!!!

​Also... Thank You First Baptist Church from the Wheeler Family!!!!!!!  I don’t even have the words to express our gratitude for the outpouring of love and support that has come from FBC.  I’ve often said that we are not just a church but were a family and right now I believe that more than ever.  Folks have brought us the most amazing meals, come to help with yard work, sent encouraging cards and letters.  It’s truly overwhelming! 
Right now, here is where things are as far as my journey goes.  We got a good report from Dr. Jha last Friday in that he said he was pleased with the numbers from my blood work.  I will start my second round of chemo on June 4th and it will last for seven days.  After that, I will have another bone marrow biopsy done and if my blast cell percentage is 5% or lower, they will proceed with the bone marrow transplant. 
Our prayer right now is that I get into enough remission to do the transplant and that we will be able to do it with Dr. Kota in Augusta.  The jury is still out on the location as they are still haggling with the insurance company.
Well…  That’s pretty much where we are.  Again, THANK YOU for all the love and prayers.  They mean the world!  

While I'm writing this blog update I find myself enjoying a measure of frustration that I haven't felt in quite a long time.  This past Friday (4/3/19) we got the news that our insurance doesn't want to pay for one of the chemo drugs that my doctor want's me to be on.  Dr. Jha's office is appealing it but it's a little scary to consider that, at least to some degree, my fate is in the hands of someone sitting in a cubical in an office building somewhere.  Then today, Saturday, we got a letter from our insurance saying that the hospital in Augusta is not in network so they won't be paying for any of the bills coming from there.  

From what I understand, this may mean that I'm going to have to consult a new doctor and hospital after I've already started down with the folks in Augusta (Who we really like).

My first thought after getting this news was that at least now I know what my life is worth since the insurance company is more concerned with the bottom line than they are the well being of the people who faithfully pay their monthly premium.  However, after a little bit of reflection and time in prayer, I have to remember that I've actually known what my life is worth for quite a long time.  The price was paid in full on that horrible cross so long ago.  I suppose it's easy to get discouraged and to be honest I am right now.  That being said, my faith is in Him who died for me...

Three weeks ago I went to the doctor with a slight fever thinking I had the flu.  (Would that it were so...)  When my blood work came back the doctor gave me some frightening news.  My white blood cell count was 70,000.  Normal is 10,000 or less.  He shared with me his fear that this looked like leukemia and sent me directly to the ICU at Memorial Satilla Hospital where I spent the better part of a week learning to hate hospital beds.  

During the course of that week I learned that I have CMML Leukemia.  I also learned that hospital beds can cripple you and turn your back into mush...  Really, the beds were almost worse than finding out that I had cancer.  While in the hospital I met one of my new best friends, Dr. Jha.  This past week I met one of my other new best friends, Dr. Kota in Augusta. They are my Hematologist/Oncologist.  I intend to be the best patient they have ever had!!!

Since I left the hospital I have had two Bone Marrow Biopsies which, from what I understand, will give us the information of the exact genetic type of leukemia I have.  I will hopefully be starting chemotherapy as an outpatient in Jesup, GA. this coming week.  The goal is that after 3-4 rounds of chemo I'll be in remission and will be able to undergo a bone marrow transplant.  This is the only way to be cured of the disease. 

I've decided not to do a lot of reading on the internet as I really just want to get my information from my awesome doctors.  Ignorance is bliss and honestly right now I need a little bliss.

After three weeks to absorb things and pray I've learned some important things.
1.  I serve a mighty God.  Through all of this so far God has given me a sense of peace that I can't           explain apart from Him and His grace and mercy.  I can't say there haven't been tears but most         of them have been of joy not of sorrow.
2.  I married the most amazing woman in the world!!  Lesley has been a rock...  scratch that, A                 BOULDER for me to lean on.  I'm simply amazed at the way she has shouldered this burden and        taken such amazing care of me.  (Honestly, I wouldn't want that job)  I see God working through        her in so many ways that I am humbled beyond words by her patience and amazing love.
3.  I have the best support in the world!!!!!  I am simply overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and        support I have received.  My church, my brothers at Ware County Fire Rescue, other friends and        family have been so helpful and encouraging that I don't even know how to begin to respond            other than to cry a lot. (Those are the tears of joy I mentioned earlier) 

I can say this moving forward...  
  The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He causes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for God is with me; Your rod and Your staff comfort me.  You prepare a table before min the the presence of my enemies: You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over.  Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
PSALM: 23

I’m not sure where to begin…. To say the very least, the last few weeks have been some of the most frightening and frustrating of my life.  Right now it seems like there are a lot more questions than answers and the answers we have aren’t great.  The crazy and truly humbling part is that these have also been some of the most beautiful weeks I’ve ever known.  In my whole life I’ve I have never seen a more amazing outpouring of love and support than I have since my diagnosis of CMML.  Our church family has  come out of the woodwork to express their concern and love and to offer to walk with us and help us as we embark on this journey.  I have always known First Waycross to be a loving church but it is simply overwhelming to behold as Lesley, Emma, Sara, and I find ourselves on the receiving end.  I don’t know how to write this without sound artificially pious but here goes…. No matter how this journey fleshes out, TO GOD BE ALL GLORY AND HONOR.  That is the best and possibly the only way to rightly say, Thank You.  Thank You to everyone who has been praying for our family.  That is truly the most beautiful and meaningful gift in the world.  Thank you to those who have called and written to give beautiful words of encouragement.  Thank you to those who have done things in material ways to help us out.  They are all simply overwhelming.  In this moment it’s hard to say what the future has in store but this I know...  My God is in control and that thought brings amazing comfort and joy.  I know that I am not unique in so far as many of our church family have traveled this road before me and sadly there will be folks who follow.  With that in mind, what a wonderful consolation it is to consider that they have been and will be loved by God, through our church family the same way our family has.  Again, thank you for all of the love!  It means more than words can say.

This past Sunday evening Buddy and I had the opportunity to preach the message for the Youth Gathering at FBC Blackshear.  That’s where lots of the area youth groups come together for worship once per month.  My topic was one that I sometimes feel like a hypocrite talking about.  It’s the topic of “obedience”. 

I have to admit that that is one discipline with which I genuinely struggle.  Oh… it’s not the big things that trip me up so much as it’s the little ones.  The problem with obedience is that it means that I have to submit to a higher authority.  That’s where I struggle sometimes…  It’s getting up every day and trying to follow Christ’s example when he was in the garden and said to God, “Not my will but Thine be done.” 

The struggle for me is that my will doesn’t want to submit when it means I have to really follow through with all of the, “love thy neighbor,” stuff.  Sometimes my neighbor takes advantage of me.  Sometimes my neighbor doesn’t follow through.  Sometimes my neighbor has treated me wrongly and my heart really wants to hold a grudge instead of forgive.  “We do like to feel impowered by our sense of victimhood after all these days…” 

​The real problem for me comes when I look in the mirror and realize that I’m often guilty of the very same things that I hold against others.  Hmmm….  That’s a problem.
That being said, Lord please start with me.  Please give me your heart for others.  Please give me a heart of obedience.  Please give me a heart of Love for You.   AMEN 
 

​Sometimes  life throws a curve ball doesn’t it…  A little over a week ago I got one of those calls a parent simply dreads.  “Daddy, I’ve been in an accident”.  I must honestly say that my heart  felt like it stopped beating for a minute or so.  Thankfully the next two words I heard were, “I’m  ok”.  I got to the scene of the accident to find my little girl quite upset but she only had a  goose egg on her head.  Nothing serious. 
I’ve been thinking a lot about that event ever since and the one thought that keeps coming to me is how incredibly thankful I am to still have my daughter!!  That wreck had the potential to be much worse than it was.  High Speed, three vehicles, semi-truck.  Not a great combination. 
Since then we have been having to deal with all of the minutia  of a totaled car, insurance adjusters, police reports, etc.  Not a pleasant experience at all…
At the same time that Lesley and I have been dealing with our little crisis,  another beloved family in our community  lost a beautiful wife and mother in a car accident.  The devastation of that is simply unspeakable… From what I’ve been told, however, her funeral was truly an amazing and  beautiful time of worship in the face of such tragic loss. 
All of this brings me to a  very powerful and deep  appreciation for the amazing measure of God’s love for us.  He loves us enough to let us be truly free.  He loves us enough to let us live in a world where there really are choices and consequences both good and bad.  He loves enough to be there for us, to comfort us, and to guide us in the worst and most trying moments of our lives.  For that, let us never raise a fist to God when bad things happen but lift our voices in worship for His goodness and his love in the midst of them. 
Our prayers go out to the Crews family in this time of bereavement. 
 

If you are anything like me… There are times in your life when it’s hard to tell if you’re coming or going, or which way is up or down.  Those are times when it’s very easy to start questioning your purpose for being where you are and for doing what you’re doing.  The simple term we use for that is often the dreaded, “Mid Life Crisis”. 

​All too often folks hit that point in their lives and they find themselves in crisis mode trying to figure out what to do with their lives moving forward. 

​One of the most impactful phrases I’ve ever heard is this: God has us where we are for a purpose and until He sees fit to move us, we are to bloom where we are planted”.  In other words, no matter where we are in our life’s journey, our job is always to serve the kingdom by loving and serving His children.

​What a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday!!!  We had a great time visiting family and I’m pretty sure Buddy had a great time hanging out with his new friend “Bentley” at the Haynes home all week. 

This week I was reminded about the importance of conflict resolution.  When we have a dispute with another person, for whatever reason,  it robs us of the peace that God intends us to strive for as Christians.  I was dealing with an issue with one of my family members and by the end of the week we had worked it out. “WHEW”.  Oh how sweet it is to feel the burden of bitterness and anger roll off the back! 

This year, during the Christmas Season, if there is someone with whom you are in dispute, I hope you will find it in yourself to forgive or ask for forgiveness whatever may be the case.  Bitterness only destroys the soul of the one holding onto it.  If at all possible, let it go and embrace the sweetness and wonderful joy of not carrying (or imposing) that awful and heavy burden.  

Colossians 3:13  -  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.